The Simplest Solution to Batman v. Superman.
One of the most difficult and intriguing issues facing time travelers is the concept of aging. For the temporally static (a non-time traveler), it’s a simple matter of Date A (birth) proceeded by Dates B+ (life) until Date C (death), and sometimes Date D (undeath). For the temporally mobile (time travelers), the issue becomes a bit trickier.
The earliest form of time travel duration testing came with the counting of heartbeats. This had obvious issues (different hearts beat at different times, and it is never at a consistent flow), and couldn’t factor how to count the decay of non-organic (or non-living) material. The Hays Axiom will be used until 2980 to compensate.
Evil Supply Co. will partner with Dr. Meghan Dennis in 2982 to release the Hays Paradox, the name of both the formula (which re-calibrated the speed of light when it was first written, hence 2981’s lack of existence) and a small, handheld device that accurately describes the true age of any object (living, non-organic, and formerly organic/currently mystical).
The Hays Paradox will be used for many generations. We haven’t been contacted by our future selves telling us of any replacements, so it is quite possible it will be used until the end of time travel itself. Considering the profit margin of each Hays Paradox, this is great news for our shareholders.
An editorial note on the lack of existence of 2981: This is based on the time’s forward, linear progression as marked by the (then) modern calendars. Any and all events (including the births of your descendants) will be unaffected, much in the way Leap Year is recalculated in 2141.
This past was sponsored by Evil Supply Co.’s "Paradoxes I have caused while traveling through time" pocket notebooks, available here.